Whiner!

It's mornings like these that remind me how good I have it. Watching this man dig for food, find it, and then eat it is sometimes too much for me to bear. As I watched him dig with a sense of determination I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his head. Did he feel shame, sadness, or just hunger? Was he able to work or was he a drug addict? I pondered helplessly through my own soul and wondered if I too could ever end up like this poor man. I thought of his life before this, what he might have been like if I had met him at a better time in life's journey.

I came to the overwhelming conclusion that I'm a whiner. I have it so good, and yet find something to complain about everyday. I'm surrounded by loving people, a roof over my head, food to eat, and a wonderful family.

Maybe I should live his life for a day, perhaps then I would be more grateful.

Muddy Waters

As we enter this new season we are faced with many decisions, planning, and general restructuring of our mission. There have been small decisions, big ones, but none are bigger than what we are facing now.

Anya and I were given something that we really didn't pioneer or have any involvement in up to this point. Our mission built several big buildings on a piece of land outside of Kyiv. The process of actually building was rather short, but what followed has been a nightmare to say the least.

Unfortunately, decisions were made that have made things very difficult for us. To make a long story short, the buildings may have to come down. They were built on a sandy, clay soil which means that the foundation should be very deep, actually many meters deeper than we actually set the foundation at. This fact, plus the fact that a lot of the codes were not up to standards with the law here, plus the fact that the company that was hired was not legally allowed to build for us, or anywhere in Ukraine for that matter, has made this a very challenging time for us.

See, we didn't pioneer this vision, but they way it is going, and the new position we are in, we have to see it through now. We are running into walls, but some good things are happening as well.

One of the things that is hard is the fact that we are getting pressure from all sides about what to do with these buildings. Do we keep trying to find a way to save them, or do we take them down and let the vision sit for awhile?

My personal heart for our land is different from those that pioneered the vision for the land. I would like to see a facility for the University that is a part of YWAM, but I would be hesitant to build such a big place for schools that we just don't have. I would rather start it small, with the idea that churches and local ministries could use our facilities for retreats, camps, and other uses. As well, I would love to have some staff housing if they wanted that.

I guess there are lots of things to decide; the waters are muddy right now :(

Take a Knee

Reality hit us right on the knee!

It wasn't that long ago when all this was just a process, a thought in our mind. Now, here we were, getting prayed in as the YWAM Kyiv base directors.

It was a great day. We had a lot of meetings that day, and were really excited about the event to come. Phil was meeting with us, sharing about how things were under God's control, and that we were the right people for the job. It's amazing that we knew and understood that, but the closer it actually got for us to be prayed in, the more we questioned what God had called us to do. I guess this is normal though. We are humans and have our doubts.

The time finally arrived! It was time for us to be prayed in, followed by a short speech on what God had showed us during our time home; what God was speaking to us on behalf of YWAM Kyiv. As the nerves set in, the reality that we were now in charge of 50 some people; the reality that we were now responsible to help them grow in their ministries and their relationship with the Lord; the understanding that we had to rebuild YWAM Kyiv, strangely enough, there was peace. It was our time. God had called us and we knew clearly the next steps we were to take.

We took our knee, and took our position, and felt the love and peace of the Lord over us; the rest is still to come :)

River Road

What a beautiful morning on the Dniper River. It's so nice to sit here and actually be pretty cool in this 99 degree heat. The mornings and evenings are actually quite nice. Our apartment is actually hotter than it is outside, crazy!!!

I forgot how peaceful it is to sit out on our YWAM boat. With Ukraine, so much anxiety, hopelessness, and general problems come. The nation is in despair, people are angry, hurt, and feel like this season will never end. The new regime is increasing gas costs, and raising the pension age by five years.

Even in YWAM, there is a bit of depression. Some on our base seem so lost and just don't see anything good. I can relate with them. Everyone goes through seasons like this one that some of them are going through. The trick is to get through it with a good attitude. Our attitude defines us in the midst of the chaos. This transition time for our base will not be easy, but it will make us better. It will bring us closer to the Lord. It will bring us peace, like the river this morning.

Old Heads

We are trying to get our kids into our local preschool for a few days a week. It has been a real interesting experience to say the least. With all the documents, shots, eye doctors, dentist's, and every other kind of test you can think of it just feels like your sending your kid to a high-tech germ free medical research facility.

Today we finally finished everything and went to get them registered and everything.
The director was a little busy so we waited patiently in the hallway looking at all the classrooms and different pictures of the kids on the walls. As we looked at the pictures we seemed to feel that it was a great preschool. Afterall they had swimming, dancing, gymnastics, basketball, and even a small room with ping pong tables in them.

After about fifteen minutes the director comes to us and understands that we are Americans. She says "what are you gonna give us, we need a projector." She proceeds to tell us that "the preschool is full and if you don't give us what we need, your kids can't come". She understood we were Christians and told us that we need to give so that we can receive. Anya and I about lost it. We simply left the preschool and realized that we don't really need her preschool.

It's not about the fact that I have to invest into the preschool, it's the fact that it is these very kinds of issues that we are fighting against. You don't extort!!!
I know that maybe a little extreme but it happens everyday of our lives in some form or another. It's the disease that plagues this country. It's the current way of living, there is no other.

Maybe some day these "old heads" will learn that if you treat others with respect, they will do the same for you.

No Surprise

It was just a matter of time. We knew it would happen. We prepared our minds for when it would happen. We went over it time and time again. We thought over how we could prevent it from happening. We failed.

She said she wanted to look like momma.




I give you our new daughter Denae, a.k.a., Josephine Dirt :)

She looks like her grandpap now :)

The Throat Slicer

It's been real interesting in life lately. I've always thought of myself as everyone's friend you know. Lately though, there has been a few or more than a few people in my life that have been pretty aggressively against me for no reason whatsoever.

The other day I was standing at my window. We are on the first floor with around 9 meters of windows making up the back of our apartment. Well i was standing there talking to one of my little buddies from the orphanage when a man approached the window and starting yelling, lit up a cigarette and then proceeded to show my the "slice your throat" sign. I kind of laughed and kind of hoped that he would just walk away. He did. Either way here was a complete stranger wanting to fight me. Most of the people who want to fight me right now in life know me.

At least I should be happy he didn't moon me :)